The day I almost died.

A year is going to go by so fast, so they say.
Waiting for the bus with no hood in the pouring rain... makes that year go by much, much slower though.
Tuesday marked my 3 week "anniversary" (basically I'm in a juvenile relationship with this green country, where we're awkward and hopeful and desperately counting every second together, pretending it's been forever or so)
Gosh I have so much to learn.
I went to my first interview in another country today. The plan was that I'd be a half hour early or so and have loads of time in getting there. I was perhaps most nervous about that, because on the phone, the manager seemed amazed that I was even going to try to travel by bus, "how are you going to make that work?" she kept asking, "I don't know if it will even be worth it to come in for an interview..." After stammering awkwardly on the phone, I replied, "well, I'll see how long it takes and give it a try.."

So, the plan was, take the 1:10 bus to get there by 2. However, it didn't come to my stop until 1:33. I sat nervously for all 15 minutes of the bus ride, trying real hard to remember when to get off. Once I did, Stacey gave me instructions: Okay, walk under the bridge, then go straight up the hill for a while 'till you see the Costa. 

Okay. 

So I went, but then all of a sudden, the sidewalk just ended! I tried - all right, I'll just walk on the grass... but then there was a busy road, and still no sidewalk on the other side, only a hill that would be harder to walk on. I had to cross to the other side of the street, 4 lanes of fairly heavy traffic.

I am going to die. 

And if I was dead, that would mean I'd be late for my interview. Jon's interview advice echoed in ominously: when someone comes late for an interview at my shop, we just disregard them entirely. 

But every time I stepped out, cars kept coming. 

I am going to die. 

Tears. This is impossible, why is everything I try to do so impossible? I went back to where the sidewalk ended, and just decided to go. Just went for it. 

Somehow, I managed to not die, and running down the street, I made it to my interview. It took 15-minutes to run/walk there. And I arrived at 2:01. The manager, Anna asked if I wanted some coffee, and she gave me 5 minutes to wait. I didn’t die, and the interview seemed to go fairly well. So, we’ll see. I’d love to work there, I really would. She said she’d call me on Monday to tell me what she decided. It would only be for Christmas season, unless someone quit or moved, so we’ll see.

I’ve had a series of good days this week, which off-set the low ones (this seems to be the trend for me)

I’ve been enjoying getting to know my roommates (I’m in the sitting room with them now, watching Irish Rugby, which is happy) and connecting with other BUNAC people (like I’ve had meals with a couple of sweet girls this week, which has been lovely, since we’re all in similar situations.)

 I find that if I actually initiate with people in saying “Hi,” or “how are you,” or “gosh, it’s been rainy today!” People actually respond to me and chat awhile. I am learning a powerful thing: I am not totally alone, and most people have opinions or thoughts to share. I am enjoying being a listener.

I think the first couple of weeks, I put immense pressure on myself: I should talk to every person I come in contact with, I shouldn’t be so sad, I should be out meeting people all the time, or else I am doing a poor job of being here, I should, I should I should...

Phil and Cheryl and Stacey and Jon have helped a lot. Be patient with yourself. We are under grace, after all. Be in prayer, instead of trying to carry it all on your own shoulders (since that’s impossible to bear alone).

I really do love it here. The people are pretty friendly, especially when you initiate. Like the other day on the bus, I started chatting with the lady next to me, and she told me all about places to go in Dublin and about her family. Before leaving, she gave me her number and was like, call me and I'll show you around. 

The trees have begun to change colors. There’s a certain smell in the air, whenever I go walking in the evening – it’s of peat burning, a really thick scent that fills your lungs quickly. I know I’m going to miss it when I have to leave in a year.

A year is going to go by so fast. Almost 4 weeks in now.