There and back again, on repeat

It was a sweltering 86 degrees in London while we were there, which was completely unexpected.

It was amazing to be in a city so often mentioned, and written about and so historical and iconic... it's hard to describe, but something happens when you see buildings like "buckingham palace" and "big ben" and "London Eye" and the "tower bridge"... in person instead of just in pictures. It's like reality scrapes out the idyllic expectations stamped in your subconscious of what a place will look like... and things seem bigger or smaller or more colorful or somewhat more dingy and insignificant than the caricatures made them out to be. And some of it's for the better and some of it's slightly more disappointing, and sometimes I wish my great expectations were still in tact, but mostly the reality of a place is far superior to any air-brushed post-card picture. And that's the beauty of traveling: the opportunity of seeing and smelling and taking it all in for your own self, instead of relying on other's eyes to explain what the world looks like for you.

Even so... is it okay that i feel completely exhausted? Not wanting to sound ungrateful or anything - it's all just been A Lot. A lot of motion, a lot of new things and stressful decisions rushing at me; too many sleepless nights in hostels (not in seattle) and a lot of excitement and life-long dreams bursting into reality.. with the looming anticipation of a lot of farewells (for now) and a lot of re-integrating into old friends' lives, and rediscovering my own place back home. It seems like it will take years to fully tell and recount all the funny or dramatic or terrifying or romantic or stretching or embarrassing moments i've lived this past year in Ireland and every where else. It seems exhausting to process it all now, and to help you understand all the lessons i've learned after crossing seas and mountains and desserts and forests, some metaphors and others more literal..

Don't get me wrong, I love everything as best as I know how. I love where I'm at right now, I love the places i've experienced, and the faces I have come to know, as well as the ones I will return to come september first. I'll dream long, vibrant dreams of all the gorgeous scenes i've seen from this world.. And seeing Les Mis. live on stage, and the glorious costumes of the Lion King, and standing amazed at the tower bridge and looking down at the Thames thinking of all the generations of important people who'd reflected in its waters... and all the many adventures I've had in my other recent trip, going from Belgium to Amsterdam, to Prague to Straussburg, to Switzerland (and flying! and rafting! and swimming!) then to Monaco and Nice and Toulon, and lastly, (at long lastly) to Barcelona.... (you see all the movements that makes me feel like the room is still spinning, whirring as if it too were on train tracks)... and then thinking of flying off this Monday to Venice and Rome and sailing around Croatia... How incredibly tired am I! Yet, how incredibly blessed am I! 

 

Here's to all the places left to uncover, and all the footprints our feets have already imprinted. May we be both blessed and a blessing to all the places and faces we have the privilege of understanding.

For the Craic of it

I've discovered that I like my Irish tea-tea strong and white, with two sugars. 

I have acclimated to military time, handling a till with euro currency, J-walking safely, and using the word "lift" instead of "ride" appropriately.

I now know that I can go anywhere in the world and make friends.

My knowledge of Irish Soaps has increased from nothing to ... more than nothing. ;)

And I know what it's like to be a foreigner.

My love for all the people i've met here still surprises and delights me.

And oh, how my eyes have been filled with such beautifully different sights.

I know what it's like to be lonely for something familiar, to be completely lost and trapped.

I know (and I pray I will never forget) that there is no way i could earn God's love.

I have picked up such phrases as, "what's the craic?" "your man over there..." "what's the story?" and "yeah, it was grand." 

I'm filled with so many new thoughts and realizations from this past year, many of which are impossible to form into words. One thing I am most thankful for is how my fear of change has been redeemed, so that I'm no longer held captive to the anxiety of transitions or even farewells, but I can trust God to protect my relationships and my hopes for my present and future. 

I've found Ireland to be different than what I dreamed it to be when I was preparing to arrive a year ago, and rightly so. You know, reality is always better than a dream.